OMGPD: Seaside Shenanigans

 #SummerProblems

As we transition to the Rhode Island summer mindset, many of us are retraining our brains to be more cognizant of where to load up on ice cream and Del’s, how to expertly avoid beach traffic … and how to hide that you’re checking out beach bodies from your significant other. A 21-year-old Providence woman allegedly caught her boyfriend checking out her friends at the beach and reportedly assaulted him for his wandering eyes. According to reports, the boyfriend was sporting a few fresh scratches as well as a handprint across his face. She was charged with domestic simple assault.

Improper Beach Etiquette

After reading several beach-related arrest stories this week (see above for exhibit A), we’ve decided it’s time to give a refresher on beach etiquette. Lesson 1: don’t ogle at bikini-clad women — unless maybe if you have chrome-lensed sunglasses — but that’s still poor form. Lesson 2: if you have to urinate at the beach, use the facilities to do your business, or at least the ocean. Do not urinate in public, especially in front of children, like this guy reportedly did. While at Bailey’s Beach East in Newport, a 32-year-old man allegedly urinated in front of two small children who were sitting on a blanket. Officers didn’t have to explain it to him: The man reportedly told police, “I know that was stupid.”

Shaken, Not Stirred

One Cranston officer was “shaken up,” courtesy of the questionable antics of a 20-year-old Cranston man. During a downpour, the man and his friend spotted the police cruiser parked on the street. Apparently, the man needed a little more of a hands-on experience with the cruiser and allegedly began to push up and down on the trunk. Though this action is ill-advised on its own, it was exacerbated by the fact that the man did not properly assess his surroundings. Had he investigated the situation further, he might have noticed that there was a police officer inside the cruiser. When the officer stepped out of the car, the man was allegedly surprised and responded with, “Oh [expletive],” before running away. The officer caught up to him at his apartment and placed him under arrest for disorderly conduct.